Staying Un-Divorced

This was a gift given to us by Nisey (HI NISEY)
We laughed our butts off when she gave it to us.
Now, she is the one laughing because we actually use it late at night. So much better than Rock Paper Scissors and it seems more fair.

Just some random baby fluff

Tabitha has this exergym playmat thingie.
We have had it since she was 2 weeks old but she really decided that she liked it this week. She also has decided that she likes her bouncy seat too. I will post pictures of that later.

We are going to the lactation consultant again to figure out what we are doing wrong because this still hurts too much 5+ weeks into it.

A Cavalcade of Grandparents

Tabitha met Ken

















Then she met Jack



















Then she met Bev














Then she met Dick















Then she met Debbie














Tabitha has an embarassament of riches when it comes to the people who love her and these are just the grandparents!!!

Lessons in Nipple Shields

I am using a nipple shield when I breastfeed Tabitha because OUCH, she likes to suck on just the nipple part. With the help of several lacation specialists we determined a nipple shield would be my best bet until she gets a little older and her mouth gets a little bigger. It is a silicone phony nipple that goes over mine so that she has more to latch on to. The dog is jealous.

Correct use of nipple shield.




















In-Correct use of nipple shield ( I think that she is laughing at me!)

Crying, Vodka, Farts and Love

Some big shoes to fill. I look at her with wonder all the time. I just had my first Mother's Day with her and it was a wonderful day. I know that it is a manufactured holiday but I cannot tell you how deeply painful it is to have this particular 'holiday' around you when you have been suffering through infertility. Here I have my girl and I have my first Mothers Day. It does not erase the pain but it does make it a little easier to bear. I think that I have a bit of Survivor's Guilt going on. I almost feel embarassed to walk around with her because A. I am waiting for someone to tell me the jig is up and my rental period is over and B. I want to pin a sign to her pram making sure to announce that she was not concieved easily so that I do not cause undue pain to someone. I can remember looking at babies and moms and hating them, burning with jealousy. I was so sure that it was easy for them, one of those people who use their partners toothbrush and get a positive pregnancy test. Now, here I am, one of the hated. A survivor. So happy to be here but a bit guilty about it when I think of all my friends who are still suffering and trying. I used to get so mad when people would tell me trite little comments about how they are sure that it would happen for me and other bits of 'advice' meant to make me feel better about my situation. I will not be doing that to you today or ever. I love you too much for that.



Things have been hectic around here and I haven't been able to get to my computer much. So I am going to put several days worth all at once.





OMG, This baby has the MOST hellacious farts that you have ever smelled. I have to sit sometimes with my nose plugged while I am nursing her because I just can NOT stand the smell. I have smelled Renaissance Faire privies (portatoilets) that smelled better. My eyes water and I am suuuuuuuuuuuure that she has just has a massive poo. Butt no (pun intended). She has apparently taken on her fathers infantile bowel habits and likes to go every few days and when she does its a WHOPPER...The doctor said not to worry but how can I not when she is polluting my atomosphere and I am forced to breathe it. Maybe I will get a gas mask.
PS Notice the wilted roses in the background? *THATS* how bad her farts are!
They killed perfectly good flowers. I need ET to revive them.




Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.... we hear a lot of this and frankly I feel like she looks in this picture. I want to cry and wail too. We are still working out how to make her feel better. The above said gas makes her very unhappy and she will wake from a sleep to start screaming. We are using an arsenal of techniques to soothe and calm her. I have booby magic and David has some sort of mysterious Daddy magic that I have yet to figure out but it is pretty great when he picks her up, puts her in the sling and she immediately gets quiet. I need that magic too, I have different magic. We call it Vodka...no no no just kidding. I have Mommy and boobie magic and it works too, just differently.



























When she is alert and not in pain, she is a delight. She has really figured out how to charm us with her face. I spend a lot of time with her making faces at her and she has begun to make them back at me. It is super fun to do this. We took about 80 photos of her laying on the floor making silly faces at us. It was hard to pick the ones to put here because there are many that are good.
















This is one of my favorites from the set. She is rooting for the Sharks to win the playoffs dontcha know? GO SHARKS BEAT THE OILERS!!!

Word of the Day...WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride

I was singing this song over and over again yesterday. It is popular on the radio right now and it conveys the previous 24 to 36 hours of my life. We had a bad day. Tabitha could not be consoled. She cried and cried. The usual methods of calming her just did not work. No amount of jiggling, cooing, talking, buggy rides, eating or walking made her happy. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah was what we heard all day and night. You have never seen 3 adults more frazzled than us. You know that look that people have after they have been on a transcontinental flight, that was us. Covered in barf and poo and trying to calm her. David and I finally took her for a car ride @ 9:30 at night. She cried for about 8 excruciating minutes and then came the blessed silence. We discussed the price of gasoline vs. the price of our sanity. Sanity wins, hands down. Today has been a much better day for all of us. Let sleeping babies lie. She is in her car seat after our adventure to the store this morning, still asleep. YAY!! Lets hope we get a new look on life as she sleeps off her milk hangover.

Hot Cross Buns

OH How these people who *claim* to be my family embarass me! Just because I have thrush they take me outside and expose my privates to the neighbors. Yeah, there was some cock-a-maimy story about sun helping the yeast infection and thrush that I have. (Mommy has it too, but my pain is worse than her pain I am certain) I dont see anyone else having to suffer from the indignity of exposure. Just you wait, I will get them back! I will pee on them.
Oh wait, already did that today on Momma! HA! Told you I would get you back...see what you get for wearing actual *clothes* rather than just your bathrobe today. Resistance is futile, I will get you too. Oh yeah, and GrandmaBev, YOU ARE SO NEXT!

2 weeks

Its been 2 weeks since this little one was born. She is starting to make little smiles. I know that they are fake and that she most likely has gas in there but it doesn't stop me from watching her face to see if she will make another one. David and I are doing well, thanks to GrammaBev who is here with us in California and takes the 3am to 8ish shift with the baby so that we can actually get several hours of uninterrupted sleep. It is DELIGHTFUL to say the least.
Tabitha gave us a treat the other night by sleeping all night long. It must have been a fluke because it hasn't happened again. The dog is having a love/hate relationship with us and the baby right now. She loves the baby and wants to be near the baby all the time but then when we leave the house with the baby and leave her here. She acts out and gets into mishief.
For example, she got up on our brand new mattress and peed on it while we were out to dinner. THANK GOD for waterproof mattress pads. We got the pad in case my water broke on the mattress (hahahaha) and now it has come in handy for puppy pee. Whoda thunk it?
I love to watch her sleep. HELL, I love it when she sleeps period. At night she likes to lay on my chest to fall asleep and then I move her to the mattress. She make little peeps and squeeks all the time. Normally, I dont like to sleep on my back but if it gets her to fall asleep so that *I* can fall asleep. Let me tell you, I am all for it.
Wonder what is next in wonderland....I don't want to fall down any rabbit holes. I like it here just fine.

Slippery When Wet

I have been waiting with anticipation for that icky little umbilical cord stump to fall off so that I could give Tabitha her first bath. Every diaper change every day I would look at it and check its icky progress. This little bit of tissue, the last bit that connected her to me physically was getting in the way of my fun!! Though it was symbolically sad when it fell off I must admit to a little party in my head.
YES!! Now I can get her in the water.
I had been warned by many people that she might not like it and might scream her bloody head off and I was prepared to deal with this onslaught. My efforts to bathe her the day it fell off were thwarted by evil minions and demons.
SO, not really. What really happened was that I wanted David to be there too for our momentous occasion and he had school that evening and by the time that he got home and we got dinner in us and our evening wound down, it was too late and we were too tired to get her into the bath. Washday had to be the next one.
As soon as I could talk David into it the next day (which really, wasn’t that hard) we got her ready for it. Grrrr and damn, I wanted to be the one to do this but then remembered that I cannot get the C-Section incision that wet so I was out of the running. Taking pictures was just going to have to be ok. David got in the tub with her and we started the water. She bawled up her face and prepared to let out a bellow, took a deep breath, I took a deep breath bracing myself for the cry....then out came a little tiny baby sigh. No crying just happy baby. SHE LOVED THE WATER. I can only assume that it must have felt like being back inside. She was lathered and washed, cooed too and played with. I wrapped her up in the softest towel we had and cuddled my little girl. Oh yeah, I had a towel for the Daddy too. They make a cute pair.

Oooh, the indignity of it all

Miss T's umbilical cord stump finally fell off last night. She was busy having a damn fit about something. I dont know what it was, I asked her but she didnt tell me.
She knocked the cord stump off herself. I guess she was tired of it too. SOOOO, she gets to suffer the indignity of her first bath tonight. Pictures to follow...